The "Nothing Box"

Recently, my family and I were watching a comedian talk about the "nothing box".

One day his wife asked him: "So, what are you thinking about?" and he replied: "Nothing". "No, really," she persisted, finding his answer unreasonable, "what are you thinking about?" "Really, nothing," he answered.

He then continued on in his monologue describing the "nothing box", claiming that, for men, it is an absolutely valid place in the mind. They'll be staring off into space when someone will ask what they're thinking, bringing them out of their stuporous state of mental oblivion.

Of course it's only ever women that ask, because other men are already in that vacant "nothing box" and would never think so far out of it as to wonder what another man might be thinking.

At this point in the comedian's routine, my husband burst out in laughter, thinking it was the funniest thing in the world.

"That's so true!" he claimed, to which my youngest son enthusiastically concurred. "We really do just think of nothing sometimes.

I looked at them and just sort of blinked. Something like a "nothing box" wouldn't begin to exist in my world.

I think about everything!

Today, as I was weeding and mulching the garden, my brain never stopped for a nanosecond. I thought about the quality of the mulch and the purposes behind it and when we were going to make more and how long it would take to dry and how long it would keep everything beneath it moist and how my maple saplings appear to actually like their environment drier than the other plants and if it was really wise to have mulch on them at all and if they would dry out too quickly without it... etc...

While this was all going through my head seemingly at once, I noticed several birds singing in the trees and began wondering about why birds have such different songs, how their songs differ from region to region, kind of like people's accents. Why is that? During the tower of Babel, did their languages get confused as well? What if they all sang the same song? Admittedly, that would be a bit boring. How do they know to sing the same song according to their breeds in the first place?

About then I noticed an Oriole in one of the trees over the garden. My mind jumped to another topic. I wonder why Orioles are orange and black? I don't like the color orange, or black for that matter, but on an Oriole they look AMAZING! Why is it so attractive on an Oriole?

While having all these bird thoughts, I'm simultaneously assessing the ripeness of the strawberries in the garden and wondering how many I'll be able to harvest (and eat) while wondering what the unripe white strawberries taste like (like strawberries), how they came up with a real white strawberry variety, all while sorting through which weeds should be pulled and which plants should stay, throwing a cat out of the way, then back to wondering why God made weeds, wondering why they grow so differently from each other, as I look around at my other beds and admire their virtuous crops and then notice some goose poop and wonder if geese really do poop ever 5 minutes as they say... and why would a goose poop that often anyway?

All of these thoughts, and a gazillion others pass through my mind during any random 60-90 seconds of time.

I might look over at my garlic, remember that it's "Pioneer Garlic", and go on thinking about the Pioneers, how they survived on the trail. For instance, how did they feed their oxen and horses? And what did they do while they were walking and walking and walking and had to go to the bathroom? Surely, there weren't just vacant bushes all along the trail? What did they use for toilet paper? How did they find the privacy for such a thing? At about this point, I pause in my weeding to look heavenward and thank God for flushing toilets and two ply, super soft t.p.!

A "Nothing Box" seems like a virtual impossibility to me.

My mind is going all the time... even when I'm trying to sleep. I might wake up wondering if I started the dishwasher, or locked the front door... or if I remembered to say my prayers... or if I fell asleep during them. Whenever I roll over, I'm wondering about something, or musing or thinking... even in my sleep.

Sometimes, I might even wake up and wonder if I'm crazy. My mother used to say: "Crazy people never think that they're crazy."

That comforts me somewhat, that I'm probably not, simply because I'm wondering if I am. :o) Of course, she told me this (multiple times) because I asked her (multiple times) if I was crazy. Of course, I asked her if I was crazy because people used to tell me that I was. Of course, THEY never wondered if THEY were CRAZY... which only goes to show that they were, right? Ha! Take that, crazy people!

Anyway, back on topic. I suppose I can understand a "nothing box" for someone with an I.Q. of, say, 35... but the guys I know are just far too smart to truly have such a thing.

Take Kamaron, for example. I can't imagine him having a "nothing box" space in his brain at all. If he isn't engaged is listening to music while doing his homework, then he is mentally inventing his own real Iron Man suit, or trying to figure out how he could install a retina scanner on his bedroom door or a fingerprint identifier on the bathroom door... or just possibly, the details to how he might take over the world someday... and what he would do with it after he did.

There's just no way that kid could possibly have a "nothing box".

I'm convinced my husband doesn't really have one as well... which brings up the end question. When I ask him what he's thinking, and he says "Nothing," just WHAT is he REALLY thinking about?

I'm guessing that there's plenty there... he just doesn't want me to know what it is? Why is that? Is it something secret? Or just private? Or is he secretly, privately, thinking something he just doesn't want to fess up to?

So, as a disclaimer, this isn't meant to be a man bashing post, I'm just really wondering how there could honestly be something like a "Nothing Box" in any intelligent person's mind.

If you happen to know... please share.